Old Enough?
by Yemi Hikari
Summary: Renji tells various people that Hitsugaya Toshiro has crushes on various other people, which causes ... problems to say the least. Pokes fun of Toshiro pairings...


_Disclaimer – I do not own Bleach. Poke fun of a bunch of Toshiro pairings here…_

**Old Enough?**

Abarai Renji had taken the time to place a small bug into poor Kira's ear. "I believe that Hitsugaya Toshiro taicho might have a crush on Hinamori. I mean, he is over protective of her and to the point that it is rather obsessive, isn't it?"

This had been bugging Kira for a couple of hours, so he decided to head over to the tenth division and find out the whole truth of the matter. He found that the child prodigy was the only one in the office, as Matsumoto had absconded from her duties. "Umm…"

"My lieutenant has found a way to get away from me and is off drinking," the white haired taicho suddenly commented, his eyes filled with annoyance. "And I won't allow drinking in the office again."

"Actually, I came here to see you," Kira mumbled.

"So you've finally come to ask permission to court Hinamori?" the young taicho's voice had no change to it.

"Renji was right, you are rather obsessive," Kira blurted out, then clasped a hand to his mouth.

Toshiro set his calligraphy brush down. "I think you and I have two different ideas about what is going on in this conversation, Lieutenant Izuru."

"I can understand that you have a crush on…"

"Who has been spouting off that I have a crush on bed wetter Momo?" Toshiro suddenly narrowed his eyes.

"Abarai Renji…?" Kira mumbled.

"The fool was probably drunk," Toshiro muttered, almost growling out his distaste. "As I said, you and I have different ideas about where this conversation is headed. I don't have a crush on Hinamori."

"Are you sure. I mean… it kind of seems like it. You were very protective of her when Aizen… well…"

"Izuru…" Toshiro gave the older Shingami a look. "Hinamori and I grew up with each other in the same household, so of course I would be overprotective of her. Abarai and you should both know this."

"But the two of you aren't blood related" Kira muttered, his gaze wandering else where. "Some brothers and sisters in that situation like each other. I mean, Renji likes Rukia…"

"First, Renji and Rukia's situation wasn't exactly a family situation," Toshiro muttered dryly.

"And…" Kira muttered, twiddling his thumbs.

"You know how tall I am compared to Hinamori?" Toshiro muttered, having not wanted to get into the subject of his height, or his age.

"Only a couple of inches," the older shingami commented, not realizing that Toshiro's hair made up some of the heighth that people now saw.

"Actually, more like eight inches," Toshiro's eye suddenly twitched. "When Hinamori entered the academy, she could reach her hand straight out pat me on the head. She didn't have to bend her arm or reach up."

"So your saying that you've gone and grown," Kira suddenly imputed. "That just means after some more time, you'll be taller then her."

"If I'm catching up in height with her, that also means that I'm also younger then her, Izuru," Toshiro snapped. "Fourty years roughly I would say, or the eqivancy of four human years."

"One could wait until one is old enough though," Kira muttered again.

"And have Granny tan my hide for… Hinamori is my sister and best friend from growing up, nothing more then that," Toshiro muttered. He then muttered under his breath so that Kira couldn't hear him. "Come back when you actually have the courage to ask to court her."

"That was when Higasi burst through the doors. "What is this I hear about you having a crush on Matsumoto?"

"That bastard," Toshiro growled, suddenly having an idea who had told the lieutenant of the ninth division this.

"Abarai told me," Hisagi continued. "I didn't think that you were old enough to have hit puberty yet."

"You're saying that I have or will have the same sort of perverted feelings that you and other men have?" Toshiro snapped.

"Who doesn't? Matsumoto is drop dead gorgeous. Do you know how many guys would love to be in your position. I mean, Matsumoto huge you from behind and…"

"Not one more word about that. She does it because she knows it annoys me. I also don't care that she's very pretty, but if anyone says any derogatory remarks in front of me… other then herself… about her, understand that I will hurt them,"

"Doesn't that indicate that you have a crush on her," Kira blurted out.

"Fuck no," Toshiro's eyes gave the two of them a death glare. "And before you say anything else, even if I did have a crush on her, think about the fact that they would call her a pedofile?"

This caused both of the older males to look at each other with shocked expressions on their faces. That was when Soifon stormed into the room, her face red with anger. Toshiro had a slightly exasberated look on his face. "Let me guess, this time around, Abarai told you I had a crush on Yorichi when I don't? Owe!"

"No… but cose," Soifon was now the one giving the death glared. "You little pervert. Renji told me that you had a crush on an eleven year old."

"Ohh… one was making the comment about Matsumoto being a pedofile if she was in a relationship with you, yet I don't think you reall care," Hisagi suddenly commented.

Soifon sudden;y let go of Toshiro's ear. "You mean, Abaria told the two of you something about captain Hitsugaya having a crush on someone. And where exactly did the idea of a crush on Yorichi come from?"

"Says the lady who has black cats anywhere she can have them," Toshiro muttered.

"You having a crush on Yorichi…" Soifon put a hand on her chin thinking about it. "There is a hundred years difference probably. And if so, it couldn't be anything more then a childish crush."

Toshiro gave her a dirty look that stated that was what he felt her possible crush on Yorichi was, but the captain of the second division didn't notice as she was lost in thought. It was then that Ichigo suddenly shunpooed into the office, landing on the top of Toshiro's desk and grabbing the front of the boy captain's uniform. "What is this I hear about you having a crush on my little sister?"

"What about Kurosaki-san," Toshiro narrowed his eyes at the boy. "We're just friends."

"Sure, she may thing of you as her friend, as is her personality, but what do you think of her," Ichigo snapped.

"As I told Matsumoto, no," Toshiro sighed, removing Ichigo's hand forcibally. "Also, I think if I were to ever ask her out, she'd likely try to take my head off with a soccer ball again."

"Ahh… hold on, I wasn't talking about Karin, I was talking about Yuzu," Ichigo suddenly stated, complete surprise in his voice.

Toshiro also had for a few moments a surpised look on his face and an eyebrow went up and he squeeked out. "You have more then one sister? Having met Ku… Karin-san… the one sister, that's kind of scary."

"Yuzu and Karin are twins, yes, but nothing alikd," Ichigo's eyes narrowed, realizing what had happened. "Renji…"

"Ichigo then stepped to the door, causing Higasi to raise an eyebrow. "ARen't you going to berate Hitsugaya tiahco for crushing on your sister still?"

"You haven't met Karin," Ichigo commented. "I'm not so worried about what Toshiro might do to her, but what she might do to him."

"It's Hitsugay taicho Kurosaki," the small taicho's eyes narrowed.

"Oh…" Ichigo added. "I am still going to have to talk to you about this later… as I said, I'm more concerned about what she'll do to you."

"Lovely," Toshiro muttered, feeling a headache coming on.

"So that's the elven year old Abarai mean," Soifon suddenly commented.

"I'd say that measuring soul society years is not the same as living years." Higasi smirked. "You owe somebody an apology."

However, Soifon had other ideas. "Does this girl have anything to do with that soccer field incident that Yamamoto showed me your report for? One of the few reports we've seen you lack detail on… majorly so?"

"I… uh…" Toshiro blinked a couple times, not wanting to say that it was because he was embaressed to have been sort of goofing off that day. He was about to say something, expcept lieutenant Isane came in with a bunch of floweds.

"These accidently got delivered from the fourth division, and are from the one of the students from the Soul Acadamy," the tall woman stated.

"They're for Matsumoto, right?" Toshrio commented, suddenly pointing a thumb at Matsumoto's desk.

"Actually… they're for you… the letter says… sorry for reading it, but it was misdelievered, that Abarai Renji was showing a picture of the captains around Soul Academy a few days ago…" the woman stated, glancing at the ground. "They were quite excited that there was a captain near their age in the Gotei."

"Who's what, younger then them?" Toshiro grumbled, barely understandable, then under his breath, shuddering as he did so. "Females are weird…"

"Actually, I believe that you're now around the low age that people normally enver the academy," the young woman commented.

"Nani!" Toshiro hadn't want to hear that and had turned a little pale.

"You also have a bundle of lettered," Isane continued.

Toshiro stood up, causing everyone to stare at him. "Excuse me while I go help Kurosaki mur… prepare Abaria Renji's funeral."

After he had disappeared, having scattered all of his papers across the room in the process. "Surely he hasn't yet hit puberty?"

"Actually, my taicho says that he's right around the age now. However, she also says that this is around the age that he'll deny actually liking someone too, unless prodded in the right way." Isane didn't think anything of it.

"Would Abarai Renji have possibly, at all possibly have figured this fact out?" Soifon muttered.

"Ahh… maybe," Kira twidled his thumbs again.

"Excuse me while I go help the substitute shingami and captain Hitsugaya clean up the mess, then I'm hauling that brat taicho's ass over to General Yamamoto for a much over due time for the talk."

"Ahh… wait. The general might fall aslpee halfway thorugh, so we should take him to Unohana taicho," the other woman stated.

"Even better," Soifon stated as they left.

"Hey… Kira, want to go help get revenge on Renji," Hisagi piped up.

"Uh…"

"Oh come on!"

About five minutes later, Matsumoto walked into the tenth division offices. She saw the scattered papers and flowers on her taicho's desk. "What happened here?"

"Delivery!" came a young shingami's voice.

"Ohh… ohh… chocolates," Matsumoto cooed.

"I believe they're for your taicho,"

"I don't think he'll mind. To bad they aren't from Karin-chan," Matsumoto smiled, taking the delivery.

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Author's note – The title comes from what Isane says about Toshiro in the fanfic. I had this written up in my journal for some time now. I almost changed the title to "Crush Renji…" and I still might change it. I made fun of pairings I am rather not fond of here, and pairings that I rather like. I didn't go into that here, as I wished to keep my author's note short and focus on the story.


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